[Tip] Defensiveness

Sometimes a question is not a question. Sometimes, the question is simply a comment, often a suggestion, occasionally a clarification.

Last week I was at a technical review meeting. One of my colleagues pointed out a possible issue that needs watching – it was not a rebuke, it was not a correction, it was just a heads-up. Unfortunately, the presenter instantly got defensive: “we’ve never seen that problem before,” “I’m sure it won’t be a problem.” The presenter’s body language was closed, and the language was verging on the hostile.

Sadly, the audience picked up on this defensiveness. It was very uncomfortable, and my colleague was understandably confused – the exchange did not reflect well upon the presenter. The solution?

“I’ve not come across that before. Thank you – I’ll keep that in mind.”

Two sentences. Thirteen words. And a note of appreciation  in your voice.

And everyone goes away happy.